


Hurts Like Hell

by DarkLady417



Series: Voltron Self Ship Songfics [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, F/M, Songfic, ambiguous ending, its fucking sad, its near the end, minor blood mention?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 15:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12192183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkLady417/pseuds/DarkLady417
Summary: Losing Shiro hurt everyone. She took it the hardest. She lost him, got him back and lost him again. It was a painful, endless cycle.





	Hurts Like Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer!: I don't own VLD or Hurts like Hell!
> 
> I love this song and made many friends cry from this.

_ How can I say this without breaking _

 

It’s been only a few days since Shiro disappeared. Out of all the outcomes that could have happened after this mission, this wasn’t one of them. She laid on her bed, eyes bloodshot from her sobs, cheeks red from her tears.

 

_ How can I say this without taking over _

 

They still couldn’t find him, no matter how much they searched. She couldn’t even find a trace on him from inside the Black Lion.

 

_ How can I put it down into words _

 

“Jen? You need to eat! Your lunch is still sitting here…” she heard from outside her door

She curled up even more in her bed, no matter how much her growling stomach protested.

 

_ When it's almost too much for my soul alone _

 

She didn’t have the energy to do anything. She ached, body, soul, and heart. He meant the world to her….and  _ he didn’t know that! _

 

_ I loved and I loved and I lost you _

 

She remembered the smile he gave her before he left, saying that everything was going to be fine. That they’d defeat Zarkon and win this war.

 

_ I loved and I loved and I lost you _

 

She remembered stopping him, to tell him how she felt, but she only wished him good luck, which laughed and accepted.

 

_ I loved and I loved and I lost you _

 

She remembered watching him leave, with regret in her stomach, heavy like lead.

 

_ And it hurts like hell _

 

She felt tears form in her eyes, the hurt throbbing.

_ Yeah it hurts like hell _

 

She curled up, sobbing her eyes out, for the upteenth time.

 

_ I don't want them to know the secrets _

 

When they found ‘Shiro’, she knew that this wasn’t completely right. Shiro was the true Black Paladin, so her suspicions were confirmed when Black rejected him. But she forced that out of her mind. She asked ‘Shiro’ out. He said yes. He kissed her. It didn’t feel right.

 

_ I don't want them to know the way I loved you _

 

She never told her suspicions to the others. She just forced herself to accept this was Shiro. She had horrid nightmares every night. ‘Shiro’ slept with her, trying to soothe them to no avail. He wanted to talk to Allura and Coran about it, but she said it was probably just from the stress from fighting Lotor.

 

_ I don't think they'd understand it, no _

 

She couldn’t worry the others with her suspicions. She wouldn’t burden them with her fears and nightmares.

 

_ I don't think they would accept me, no _

 

But the truth came out anyway. ‘Shiro’ was a clone. He was given the name Kuron. He was a sleeper agent, having a codeword that would make him tell whatever he knew to the Galra and he wouldn’t know it. She and Pidge were thankfully able to erase that from his programming.

 

_ I loved and I loved and I lost you _

 

__ She curled up in her room, it was like losing him all over again. She couldn’t deal with this anymore.

 

_ I loved and I loved and I lost you _

 

She heard a knock on her door. She tried to hold back her sobs, ignoring it. 

 

_ I loved and I loved and I lost you _

__ The door opened. It was Kuron. He didn’t say a word but walked right to her.

 

_ And it hurts like hell _

 

He held her close “I’m so sorry”

 

_ Yeah it hurts like hell _

 

__ She broke out into tears, mourning all over again.

 

_ Dreams fight with machines _

 

__ She honestly couldn’t believe this is where they would find him.

 

_ Inside my head like adversaries _

 

__ Shiro’s eyes glowed yellow. He attacked her, his arm humming with power as he swiped at her. She was alone, the others fighting Lotor and the generals.

 

_ Come wrestle me free _

 

She dodged, she couldn’t land a hit on him, she couldn’t allow herself to hurt him. She made crystal barriers but he easily shattered them.

 

_ Clean from the war _

 

She wished they never had to fight this war. Then they wouldn’t be in this position. She didn’t know how much of this she could take.

 

_ Your heart fits like a key _

 

__ She stopped. She didn’t move when she saw him come near her. She didn’t move when the arm came right towards her chest.

 

_ Into the lock on the wall _

 

__ She hit the wall, her chest burnt, with an arm through it. Blood spilt from it and her mouth.

 

_ I turn it over, I turn it over _

 

__ She saw his eyes go back to their beautiful dark gray. A look of horror crossed his face.

“No!”

 

_ But I can't escape _

 

__ He was  _ back _ . Her Shiro was  _ back. _ She smiled as he pulled his arm out and fell forward.

 

_ I turn it over, I turn it over _

 

She blacked out. The last thing she heard was Shiro yelling for Allura to get a pod ready.

  
  


_ I loved and I loved and I lost you _

 

He  _ fought and fought _ . He didn’t want it to end like this. With a bloody arm. And her with a hole in her chest.

 

_ I loved and I loved and I lost you _

 

He looked at her in the pod, healing slowly. Her skin was paler then normal.

“She lost a lot of blood. We’re hoping with her magic and the pod, she’ll come back. But with her mental state in the past few quintents..” Allura trailed off

“She’ll fight, we just need to have faith she will” Keith said adamantly

 

_ I loved and I loved and I lost you _

 

__ The others left, leaving him there. He looked at her, refusing to leave her side. He did this to her. He caused her this pain.

 

_ And it hurts like hell  _

 

Tears slid down his cheeks, as he prayed that she will open her eyes once more.


End file.
